A DINKS Guide to Miami, FL
I don’t know about you, but whenever I think of Miami, I think of fake ID’s and a college hangover that makes crucification seem like foreplay.
But when you’re nearing 30, happily married, and finally have some real money to spend, your options start to open up beyond muscle beach happy hours.
Enter: a duel-income, no kids (DINKS) guide to Miami.
It all starts with South Beach…
Ah, South Beach. Where the aforementioned “muscle beach” lives in all its glory, along with countless drag brunch restaurants and gay bars. (No coincidence, I’m sure...)
But just like with any vacation, there’s the typical touristy way to do things, and then there’s the way of luxury.
Take the second option.
Enjoying the Beach, the DINK Way
(Sorry, shameless bikini pic plug.)
South Beach has earned it’s reputation mostly through it’s lively party scene, but for now we’re going to focus on the actual beach itself.
My best ‘hack’ to date to maximize your South Beach experience is simple: use the beachfront resort amenities. And no, you don’t have to stay at the resort to use them. Most resorts along South Beach will let you use all of the amenities for the entire day — pool, beach chairs, bars, restaurants, etc as long as you have a spa treatment booked for that day.
So let’s break down the cost and why I personally think it’s a huge win…
Normally, you have to rent beach chairs on the beach.
…and the cost can run you about $20/hr for one chair. If you want an umbrella, that’s also an extra cost. However, most beachfront resorts include them in their amenity package.
2. Private pools & pool bars >
The last time I tried to buy a drink on the public portion of Miami Beach, it costs me $30. For ONE FREAKING COCKTAIL. Now, this isn’t to say that the resort drinks are cheap by any accounts. BUT, you will pay around $16-$20 per cocktail, and can enjoy it from a quiet luxury pool bar. The pools at top resorts are really worth the hype — and usually have tons of seating, hammocks, and space in the water.
3. Showers. Showers. Showers.
Most people don’t consider just how nice it is to have a locker room, showers, and hair dryers to stow your stuff and freshen up at the end of the day. We kept a tote with a change of nicer clothes for dinner locked in the locker, and I can’t even begin to describe how refreshing it was to shower and dry my hair (WITH A DYSON !!) after a long day in the sun. It was borderline orgasmic.
How much does it cost, though??
Remember: this is a guide for DINKS. We do things a bit boujee here, so don’t let the cost surprise you.
A 50 minute massage will run you about $200-$250. On it’s own, that’s on the pricy side.
With a ‘private’ pool, pool bar, showers, lockers, beach chairs, umbrellas, and hammocks for the day? Done. Booked. Sign me up.
South Beach Resorts with Spa Packages:
Where to Drink (& Party) in South Beach, Miami
Earlier, I mentioned that South Beach earned it’s reputation through it’s lively party scene. If bottomless brunches and Miami Vices are your thing, you’ve come to the right place.
Best Bars
Tokyo Club South Beach - Karaoke, sushi & cocktails? Sign me the hell up. Drink rec: Lychee Martini
Sweet Liberty - A little more upscale than your typical beach bar, with a killer oyster happy hour. Drink rec: get a ‘mini martini’ for every 6 oysters you order.
Sola South Beach - This has more day club / night club vibes, with performers and entertainers constantly flaunting around. Def worth a reservation to get the primo booths by the pool. Drink rec: all their ‘Red Bull Blasters’… the mango and passionfruit are my personal faves!
Brickell, Miami (Aka Downtown / City Center)
You can party in South Beach all you want, but remember — we have DINK money. So why not take a ridiculously expensive Uber into downtown and buy ridiculously expensive cocktails?!
Best Restaurants & Bars in Brickell
Sexy Fish - It’s not overrated and not overhyped. Sexy Fish is THE place to start a night out. Their Japanese fusion menu is perfect for sharing in large group dinners. I personally don’t eat raw sushi (sue me) and was still able to enjoy several cooked rolls, grilled skewers, dumplings, friend rice, egg rolls, etc. Their cocktail menu is extremely unique as well, and puts together some really interesting flavor pairings.
If you can come here for dinner, do it. It really is worth it. But MAKE A RESERVATION. If you don’t have a resy, you can always drink at the bar. You won’t be able to order food, but you can still enjoy the drinks and incredible ambiance. They also have live DJ’s every night after 9PM.
Oh, and if you were wondering, that’s not the real James Bond with his pecker out at the urinal (sadly.) It’s just another photogenic piece of art that will have you snapping pics like crazy.
Komodo - Another Asian-fusion spot for my sushi lovers! This place, just like Sexy Fish, is also booked alllllll the time. However, I have some hacks for you (duh.)
Hack #1: get there early if you want to eat. 10PM dinners in Miami are the norm, so that’s when all the reservations get snagged for. I went during a girls group with an 8PM reservation, and even then, the restaurant didn’t reach it’s full capacity until around 11PM.
Hack #2: eat before, come for drinks. The layout of the restaurant is a round bar downstairs, with table service upstairs. The bar was POPPING when we got there for our 8PM resy, even while upstairs was a bit calmer for dinner. They have a really great cocktail menu with all the classics and some creative options if you’re feeling adventurous (fortune cookie martini, anyone?)
Hack #3: bottle service upstairs, plus some snacks. (this one is if you’re REALLY ready to throw down some dough.) We talked about the round bar on the first floor, the restaurant on the second floor, so now lets talk about the club on the third floor. This is a place you want to come to after midnight. Anytime before 12AM will be a little dead, but it livens up quickly. Bottle service can be expensive (as it is anywhere) but you can also order sushi rolls if you’re feeling a little snack-ish while dancing.
Rosa Sky - I don’t have any pics of this bar, but if you close your eyes and image a view of the Miami skyline at sunset from a rooftop bar — that’s it. Just like all the places on this list, Rosa Sky is an Instagram pic paradise with endless pink neon lights and florals. It’s most crowded at sunset, but just as fun at night with the in-house DJ and moody lights.
